Burnt Bog Girl

Cartoon by Kaz Cooke
Her work has made me laugh many times in the last 20 years of my life.
(Good Lord has it really been that long?)

Burned the bloody dinner AGAIN last night. Well, the underneath of it anyway, ie the bit that got too hot at the bottom of the saucepan. When I say dinner, please note it was also the bulk batch of bolognese sauce for freezing. With which I'd taken some actual time and effort, using my Stephanie recipe and fresh herbs from the herb garden. Grrrr.

At an (apparently) critical moment I got called away to spend some quality one-on-one time with the Climber to help him build lego.

And when I came back there was a burnt, charred smell in the kitchen.

And yes, the whole batch has a distinctly smoky flavour now.

And the third thing Fixit said as he walked in the door (after Hello and What's for dinner?) was What have you been burning now?

And today apparently my new name is "Burnt Bog Girl"

*****************************************

So today I'm wondering why so many people actually enjoy cooking. All that work for what, 15 minutes pleasure? The way you HAVE to stay in one place to make sure you don't mess it up. No guarantee at the end of your slaving that the little fusspots you cater for will actually eat it. Likelihood of culinary efforts being met with an affronted look and a suspicious voice telling you they don't like it before they've even tried it. And going through the same grind almost every bloody night. Thank God for Take-Away Night. And my favourite, the very rare Eating Out At A Restaurant Night. (Take me out, someone, anyone...pleeeease!!)

signed (grumpily, refer cartoon above)

BBG

Gratuitous David Beckham photo

I'm sure I could find far worthier things to be outraged about in this day and age. But today I choose ... shallow.


If Victoria Beckham chooses to turn herself into a toothpick in designer threads, I suppose that is her prerogative.

But how dare she pretend to also have a rounded luscious arse?


That woman weighs, I would say, a good 20kg less than me and she is packing more back than I got.

Posh, if you want a bum like that you should choose food, not Photoshop.

To bring some much-needed depth to this post I will now include two worthwhile links. This one was posted a little while ago by Kirsty : a great example of the sort of treatment Posh would need to get that bottom.

And this one, based on the same theme of real beauty. But I warn you it will probably make you cry.

Why I haven't posted for a few days.

Gastro..... uurrgghhh.

Just me and my nephew, struck down on their last day here so that my poor sister had to pack herself out of our house with virtually no help, in between looking after her vomiting diabetic son and her 18-month-old daughter, while I lay uselessly in bed feeling like death. And Fixit had to take the day off to manage our kids and me and try to help the outgoing visitors. Fun.

And being a bit of a Pollyanna type, I tried to find a silver lining to having my guts turned inside out and this was it: I hope I lose weight from this. Is not that a telling comment on our thin-obsessed society?

Actually I did achieve some rather fetching cheekbones from my ordeal. But they were a bit lost in the pale and drawn visage surrounding them.

Our house is still a disgrace. The day I planned to use setting it to rights (after living with 4 kids under age 6 for the week) was spent recuperating. I had to tell the babysitters not to look at my floor, and blamed my now-absent sister for everything. (And by the way sis, you left a heap of stuff behind)

Some snippets from the week.

We all went for afternoon tea at our uncle and aunt's house. The kids roamed happily outside as we grown-ups had an amused conversation about my nephew, laughing about his predilection for finding the dangerous electrical outlet, dismantling everything he came across and generally getting in where he ought not be, when my uncle glanced outside and saw said nephew carrying the Very Sharp Garden Shears. My uncle at once relieved him of the Shears, at which my nephew asked in all seriousness, but what will I cut your plants with?

Climber had a bit of girl trouble this week. He said they surrounded him in the playground, snatched away his special* treat of nanny-noodles**, told him he had to share them with Tyler and then informed him that Tyler was not his friend. This is why I shouldn't go to school, said Climber, darkly.

* because : mean parents hardly ever give him $$ to spend at the canteen.
** our healthy canteen's alternative to crisps and not their actual name but buggered if I can find out what the real name is.

He tried to tell me all this on the car-trip to my uncle and aunt's house as he sat wedged between his younger brother shouting bus, bus, bus in one ear and his cousin asking what are you talking about? in the other. And now I have annoying things on BOTH sides of me! he grumped. I took pity on him and let him travel the rest of the journey in the front with me.

But some of the girl trouble followed him to Halle's birthday party yesterday. When we arrived to pick him up, we found all the other kids playing and a very grumpy Climber barricaded in the cubbyhouse because Jessica had called him a big fat hippopotamus.

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Our table came second at the creche Trivia Night last night.


I suppose that's quite good. But last year we won.

Not that I'm competitive or anything.

Last one in's a rotten egg

Doing my first ever meme. Hooray for me.

48 things you could not care less about

1. First name? Caroline. Not to be confused with Carolyn. But I think all Carolyns and Carolines just answer to both. This is because apparently if you know a Carolyn before you know a Caroline you can only pronounce me as Carolyn. And vice versa.
2. Were you named after anyone? No. But I like to claim Neil Diamond’s classic song as being for me.
3. When did you last cry? I get teary-eyed at the drop of a hat. I blame parenthood. Don’t usually let it go as far as a big sooky howl though. Unless I’m watching Steel Magnolias.
4. Do you like your handwriting? Yes. I’m very neat. And a touch arty.
5. What is your favourite lunchmeat? Ham from a proper Christmas ham. With honeycup mustard.
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes. But I would find me annoying.
7. Do you have a journal? Only this. And I don’t get that personal here. Well. Apart from telling people about my UTIs.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes
9. Would you bungee jump? No
10. What is your favourite cereal? I really like Crunchy Nut Cornflakes but I don’t buy it for myself. I try to do the good, healthy breakfast with lots of fibre and vitamins and acidophilus. Because I'm good like that.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Never
12. Do you think you are strong? Bits of me are. I have very weak thumbs though.
13. What is your favourite icecream flavour? I used to work at a gourmet Melbourne Ice-Creamery and I liked their: Lemon Cheesecake. Cinnamon. Ginger. Raspberry Sorbet. But to be honest I really don’t eat much icecream any more. My mother and sister are the icecream addicts in my family.
14. Shoe size? Virtually a 9 since the second baby.
15. Red or Pink? All the colours of the rainbow are my friends but I’m a natural red-head so neither of these two figure highly in my wardrobe. More of a purple girl.
16. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? My teeth
17. Who do you miss the most? My cat
18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? If they wanna..
19. What colour pants, shirt and shoes are you wearing? It’s all black & purple.
20. Last thing you ate? A chocolate cream wafer biscuit. Allright, about 6 of them actually.
21. What are you listening to right now? Melbourne Cup award ceremony. The sound of my nephew playing. All the other kids asleep.
22. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Purple
23. Favourite smell? Gardenia. Frangipani. Daphne. Early Cheer Jonquils. Can’t narrow it down any more than that.
24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My sister (she’s at the Cup, I was checking whether my nephew would eat vegemite)
25. The first thing you notice about people you are attracted to? Their conversation.
26. Do you like the person you stole this from? Well, I like all the blogspots I’ve read it on.
27. Favourite Drink? Tea. Dilmah or English Breakfast. NEVER Earl Grey. Made in a bone china pot with proper tea-leaves, served in a bone china mug, (must be white on the inside) 2 sugars in first, then pour the tea, add the low-fat milk last. Just the way Fixit makes it.
28. Favourite sport? I really loved playing softball in my youth. I was the catcher and batted at number one because I could hit anything. I wouldn’t watch it though. I like watching dancing.
29. Eye colour? Green
30. Hat size? 56cm. Same as my 5-year-old son’s.
31. Do you wear contacts? No
32. Favourite food? Cooked by someone else. As long as there are no mushrooms, sausages, olives, anchovies, bananas, custard or an abundance of chilli in the mix.
33. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings
34. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be? I’m happy here in Melbourne
35. Summer or winter? Winter
36. Hugs or kisses? Depends. You know how old men like to plant those big sloppy wet ones on you? Go the hug then. But my little boys can give me as many sloppy wet ones as they like.
37. Favourite dessert? Tiramisu. Lemon Tart. Hot apple pie.
38. Who is most likely to respond? Read the comment box in a couple of days time
39. Least likely to respond? See above
40. What books are you reading? Skeleton Key. The Player and the Rebels. The Ringmaster’s Daughter
41. What's on your mouse pad? Winnie-the-Pooh (Disney version)
42. What did you watch last night on television? I worked last night, no TV.
43. Favourite sounds? Songs that make me want to dance.
44. Rolling Stones or Beatles? No preference.
45. The furthest you've been from home? Which is further: New York or London?
46. What's your special talent? Empathy.
47. Where were you born? Canberra
48. Who sent this to you? No-one. I took it upon myself.

Zoo Sunday

Animals seen:

• some big cats
• turtles
• the seals
• the bears (getting jiggy with each other, oh look sweeeties, the bears are having a lovely cuddle)

Children mislaid:

• Only my two, at separate intervals, and neither for very long...

Other fun :

• The carousel. I wouldn't do the dodgem cars at the Royal Melbourne Show but I enjoyed the pace of this ride..

More pics here.

Where's My Floor?

I take my hat off to anyone who has FOUR kids under the age of 6! We are enjoying a visit from my sister and her 2 kids (nearly 5 and 18 months) and its lots of good fun, but seriously. Where is my floor? Actually, don't bother. When you clear away the toys and crap that are covering it you can see how dirty it is.

Fixit and I are minding all 4 of them today & Tuesday while my sister lugs her enormous camera out to the races to take (professional) photos of the horseys. The hardest part for me is being in charge of her eldest, who has diabetes. Just because its an extra worry, in that we have to keep an eye on his sugars and try to make sure he doesn't go into a high or a low. And we know what to do really, and he's terrific about all the testing and stuff but I just get anxious. I want to prick the poor kids finger every half hour, just to double-check. I restrain myself!

And on top of the kiddie-chaos, our hot water service went phut this morning. So the landlords came round and to their credit, we now have a new one (same day installation, that's pretty good service) but now our floor is even dirtier because of the initial leak and the subsequent removal of the clapped out system. I hate it when the landlords come over and the house is a shit-heap. Which it is because I didn't mop last night because I thought sweeping was enough effort seeing as they'll all just trash it tomorrow and we couldn't do dishes this morning because no hot water plus four young kids eating and playing equals M.E.S.S. I'm sure the landlords will go back to their immaculate (I'm talking plastic covers still on their lounge furniture - seriously) house and whinge about their feral tenants. But what can you do? Oh and Mrs Landlord tried to insinuate it was our fault the hot water went, because the system wasn't that old so maybe we were using it too much? Hello?

Climber took a little moment in the sun yesterday morning at school because we took his cousins into class for roll-call and he got to stand up and introduce them. And then all the Prep T kids said hello to them both, very politely and enthusiastically. Sweet.

Fine thankyou, apart from the following

List of ailments in this abode over the last week and a half.

UTI : Me (caused by this, in other words sex is bad for you)
Mild Kidney Infection : Me (because my little UTI had delusions of grandeur and wandering feet)
Thrush : Me (Caused by antibiotics to treat the previous 2 complaints)
Flu : Cherub and me (but I got it more severely due to being weakened by previous attacks on my immune system and a visit from "Aunt Irma")
Moderate Gastro?/ Food Poisoning? : Fixit (only rotten for one day- but insisted on soldiering on at work. Like he gets paid enough to do that!)

and to cap it all off...

the crowning glory...

Headlice : the Climber

I'm sure we'll all get it though. As will my visiting sister and her 2 kids. Does anyone else get an itchy head just reading or hearing the word headlice?

Unbelievably, after all these years in childcare and kinder, this is the first time our kids have had nits. I had to treat with what we had to hand, which was a really old bottle of KP24 shampoo (probably made from Agent Orange), a pretty decrepit old fine-tooth comb, and a bucketload of conditioner which I've been told to leave in as it stuns the little critters.

So I've been told tea-tree oil is the go and Kirsty recommends the robicomb. Time to go shopping!!!

scratch, scratch, scratch...