1. Get Fixit (or similar) to have the day off so he can come too. This ensures the parent / child ratio is even.
2. Invite nice friends of the children (along with their nice parents) to come with you. This helps maintain good parent / child ratios, gives you more grown-ups to mind bags or children should you need to separate for toilet trips etc., and ensures that different age group children can undertake age appropriate activities with no whingeing from people who are the wrong height for said activities.
3. Park the car at a suburban train station near the showgrounds, then catch the train direct to the Show, thereby avoiding tiring small persons' legs out before you even arrive.
4. Get there EARLY. As in, as soon as the gates open. Less queuing, less noise, less contact with scary people. (Like the man on the phone talking to whom we assume was his offspring, who we heard say, amongst a whole other string of abuse f**king get over here now you d**khead. Lucky there were none of our children with us at that point to witness this, see point 10). Less panic attacks induced by over-exposure to large numbers of bogans for me.
5. Pack your own lunch and do not let anyone have fairy floss until they've eaten the nutritious stuff.
6. Insist that they have some contact with livestock even if they really prefer machinery.
7. Limit the number of rides so that the adults are not broke by the end of the
8. DO NOT tell children that some families buy their children more than one showbag.
9. DO NOT tell children that some families allow their kids to select their own showbags.
10. Sneak off while the kids are watching a free activity to buy them the $5 Freddo Frog showbag and do not let them have it till they are on the train home.
11. Get out while the going is good. Go directly to favourite cafe and give the adults a decent coffee and a nice lunch. Everyone goes home happy.
Full photos here
