It would be the expensive atlas, wouldn't it?

Whilst I realise that the twin crimes of book defacement and brother defamation are serious issues, the actual ticking off I delivered upon discovery of this :


... was, frankly, lame and tame. This was because I was very close to giggling the whole time.

Easter Beach Holiday

Lovely beach holiday, thanks for asking. Thanks to my Aunt, Uncle & Cousins for putting us up so magnificently. And thanks to Nell who sat the cat. The boys had not one...

... but two Easter Egg hunts,

... Climber went out in a canoe,

...Cherub fell passionately in love with my cousin Caitlin and is still periodically telling us that he is missing her. (Climber would have written her a letter by now - and indeed has offered to do so on Cherub's behalf - but Cherub just puts on his sad face and tells us. Again. And. Again.)

Best of all I got to rediscover my inner kid, frolicking - yes, frolicking - in the surf for ages, catching every wave with all the body-surfing skills acquired in my youth and oh my lord it was SO MUCH FUN!! All because my relatives talked me into borrowing a wetsuit. Wetsuits rock!! Especially the winter ones which are even warm enough for snakes like me.

So I found out I wasn't too old to play in the sea, I was only too cold.

(Victorian beaches, just for the record are chilly compared to the New South Welsh beaches I grew up with, and freezing compared to Queensland or Western Australian waters.)

I reluctantly left the water when I noticed the kids had turned blue.

In which I rant and not many people know what I'm on about.

So if one described the style of tap taught at ones school as unique, would you think you were getting something really special and sign up?

Or would you wonder why one had chosen that particular epithet? I'm sure Clarissa Dickson-Wright has a unique style of tap-dancing but it does not necessarily mean I want to pay to watch it or pay her to teach it to me... and why would one choose that description? Unique. You'd almost think that one was worried that people might think one had 'borrowed' ones stylings from other sources and wanted to reassure us that it was definitely not the case.

We're back, by the way. Photos soon. Just had to get that off my chest.

Happy Easter

Trainee Days

Fixit's first week at the new job was a total bludge, it must be admitted. He was only physically on the premises for a period of 7 hours during his first 4 days. They said they were paying him, so we're not complaining. His nose is well and truly on the grindstone now, though. It's Back-To-School for Mister Fixit. Or back to TAFE (Technical And Further Education) if you want to be accurate.

From what Fixit tells me of his TAFEs (this is his second time now), specifically TAFEs that educate mechanics, they seem like a little pocket of 1970/80s bogan Australia. His descriptions immediately conjure up my High School days - even though I had some tremendously good and progressive teachers there I must add - in that there existed this student culture where scholastic achievement equalled social suicide, as did expressing your own personality or beliefs. I thought we'd moved on as a country, grown up, achieved some insight and sophistication. But Fixit tells me I'm just stuck in an ivory tower of middle class bohemian niceness, and that if I ventured out of my sanctum I would see what the great unwashed were really like.

These are -really and truly- some things Fixit was told in the introductory speech at TAFE. That is is Not Allright to call a poof a poof. That you are not allowed to whistle at, make comments to or put your hands on attractive young girlies whilst on the TAFE premises, even if they are wearing tiny little shorts. Save it for the shopping mall across the way. If you see some Muslim women wearing the full veil you are Not Allowed to pretend to wave your Star Wars light sabre at them in a mock duel. They don't like it.

I get that they need to tell the young kiddies the right way to behave, in a way that will not set up their backs, but Geez. Talk about believing in the message you preach.

Luckily Fixit is part of a group of adult apprentices so he won't be forced to endure the company of bogan teenagers for the next 4 weeks. There are other men in their 30s doing his course. Meanwhile, the workload is pretty full-on and there are penalties for breaches; such as paying $140 to re-sit any tests you fail, and being sent home for the day if you forget your safety glasses and having your mobile phone confiscated if it rings in class. And in the first weeks it's all Occupational Health & Safety which means he is subjected to images of the results of Unsafe Practises. Like footage of a man who got sucked up into a jet engine (he survived almost unscathed apparently) and pictures of an arm that's been electrocuted. How many times do I need to tell you I'm extremely squeamish Mister Fixit before you stop trying to describe these things to me????

Anyway, Fixit is probably at maximum stress this last few weeks, what with quitting the old and starting the new. Not to mention health news - he's been told he has bad cholesterol and high blood sugar (his mother and sister both have Adult Onset Diabetes so this is not good) which means his diet needs a long hard look at itself...

... So the news that the guy who hired him -the only person he's really had as a point of contact at the new job and the one who made the case for taking on all these adult apprentices- was Escorted From The Premises on Wednesday was less than welcome. Turns out the guy was retrenched, which we think is different from being sacked for stealing or whatever, but it still feels like a bit of a worry.

But life goes on, we suppose, and as far as we know the job is secure. In the meantime, we'll be managing our stress by heading beach-wards for a night, while Nell kindly kitten-sits Bertie Wooster for us. Packing up our troubles in our old kit-bag and all that.

Have a Happy Easter, won't you. xx

Climber-cchino the second

Nell's handmade Arlecchino costume had its second airing at the Carnevale parade at school this morning.

If you look closely at Climber's feet you might see he is wearing his tap shoes. This is because when they were sending out all the newsletter stuff about dressing up for Carnevale they mentioned that there would also be a lunchtime 'open-stage' performance. Which gave me the bright idea of asking Climber and an older boy from his school - who is also one of my tap students - if they wanted to put together a little tap-dance for it. The two of them are pretty good when they work together in my classes and they seemed keen. So they signed up, and we worked out and rehearsed a short routine. This morning when we spoke to the Italian teacher she said the lunchtime thing was cancelled due to lack of takers so instead the interested performers would do their stuff at the morning parade. Then the older boy who'd been progressively more skittery about the whole thing (yes, no, I will, I won't) said he wasn't going to do it and wouldn't put his tap shoes on. He was convinced his friends would laugh at him if he did it - he has a much higher level of peer awareness than my Climber-bunny. He hadn't even dressed up for the parade, such was his anxiety about public embarrassment.

So I went out with Climber instead. (And just for the record I was NOT a Razzle-Dazzle Mum about it. In case you were wondering. I was Moral Support Mum. Swear.)

Anyway, you should have heard the cheers and clapping for Climber when we finished. Awesome.

Happy Harmony Day

Friendship is the only cure for hatred, the only guarantee of peace. (Buddha)

Harmony Day is really meant to be celebrated on March 21st, but this year there was a clash with Good Friday. We are celebrating our diverse culture, and promoting friendship and understanding. Partly by wearing orange clothing. But you know, mostly through education and attitude.

* * *

Do you like the topknot in Cherub's hair? We took him swimming last week and every time he showed us how he could put his head under the water in the deep end (big progress from his alleged dunce-hood) he would then immediately clamber out of the water to sit on the edge of the pool. The first nine times he did it, we just thought it was cute. Then Fixit thought to ask why. It was so he could get his hair out of his eyes. Can you just hear his grandmothers chorusing that I should at least cut the poor kid a fringe?