Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Goodbye, goodbye

We're moving house and Fixit's mother died on Mother's Day. There is so much I want to say about both these events, but no time to say it properly.

Also, just to add to the list of things we're dealing with at present : Fixit had knee surgery, to repair ancient damage caused by the great motorcycle accident of 1993. Surgery was much needed and will improve everything for him, so it's great news, just it wasn't the best month for him to be incapacitated, however briefly, and he really hasn't had a cushy recuperation. He's had to power through, but he is coming along nicely.

Our house is in chaos, and bit-by-bit we dismantle our life here.  We are very, very happy to leave this horrible house, and can't wait to start life again in the new house and closer-to-everything suburb. But moving is a SLOG.

Last night Fixit pulled down the bunk bed he'd built all those years ago, and the cat was adorably confused. Cherub was Fixit's helper for the bunk dismantling job, and was waiting excitedly for Climber to return home from soccer training so he could show him the new sleeping arrangements. He's so very, very cute.

As for Fixit's mum: she had had an awful run of health for the last two years, spending large chunks of it in hospital or in a wheelchair, and the root of it was the heart damage she'd sustained from the heart attack a year or so ago, but with so much else going on with her health (diabetes, broken leg, broken hip, chronic arthritis) no-one had quite picked this up. So it wasn't until she was admitted to hospital last week to try and sort it all out that they realised how bad things were for her, heart wise, and at that point they said there's nothing we can do, let's move her to palliative care so she's comfortable. That was Wednesday, she died Sunday. It was very quick. In between, she slept. We went in as a family to see her on Sunday afternoon, and we told her we loved her and said good-bye and she did respond, but she was beyond talking or eye contact then. We came home for dinner, and as we ate, Fixit's brother rang and said come back now. She was gone 5 minutes before he made it. We're all so sad. The boys, shocked by how terrible she'd looked in the hospice and struck by the grief in the faces of the adults, were distraught and we cried and cried. Fixit stayed at the hospice and mourned with his family.

At home, we lit a candle. Rest in peace Elaine. You were a loving and hard-working mother to Fixit, a kind and generous mother-in-law to me, and a loving and indulgent grandparent to Climber and Cherub.  We will miss you.


  1. All the love to you and Fixit at this very sad time.

  2. So sad about Fixit's Mum. Thinking about how it seemed to come quickly and about families mourning. Sending you all love.

    You seem to have a lot else on too. Hope all goes as well as it can in what seems like an intense time. xox

  3. I'm so sorry about your MIL. Loss is hard. I'm glad you had time to say goodbye.

    I hope your move goes smoothly and quickly!

  4. I'm so sorry too, and glad she had people around her who loved her when she died. Wishing you calmer and sunnier days ahead, and so glad you to get to leave a place you hate. That's wearying on the soul, and may the frayed edged be raveled back up again in your new home.

  5. Stomp. I'm sorry there's such a lot of rollercoaster - and especially sorry for the loss of your Mum-in-Law. xx

  6. Oh, how awful all that sounds. So sorry. I hope the new house will help you put it behind you, to some extent at least. My sympathy to you all.

  7. I'm sorry too. I saw your instagram pics today and Fixit looks so sad. He has those eyes, the eyes of someone who has cried a lot and looks like they may well cry some more. I hate that she passed away on Mother's Day. That day will be hard enough for him in the years coming to be without his mum to celebrate the day, let alone it being an anniversary of the day she went.

    I hope the move goes well for you this weekend. Moving sucks. It just does. But to get away from that craphole landlord makes it all worthwhile.

    Take care of you through this, you have a lot going on and it's easy to overlook caring for yourself. XX

  8. I am so sorry, love to you all. What a nice epitaph from her daughter in law. Do hope Fixit makes a quick recovery and yes, moving is stressful just on its own, let alone with pain and grief too.


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