And now, for everyone who hasn't been following the saga over on Facebook, let me tell you about the Troubles At School. This is a slightly tricky blogpost to write, given the ever-changing landscape of childhood friendships; today's worst enemy could be next year's best friend when maturity and tastes evolve. So I wasn't really sure whether I should record the whole affair, and this is partly because it's hard to know who is reading and who might be hurt by it. But given that this a family chronicle and what's been going on has had quite an impact lately, I thought I would set it down for posterity and just be as diplomatic and fair-minded as I can...
Young Climber has been having a very difficult time at school lately with another child. The other child, at this stage of his life, is a persistent type of boy, not one who takes no for an answer. He and Climber started out as friends but Climber got progressively more uncomfortable in his presence and tried to extricate himself. He didn't feel himself as an equal in the friendship because the other child was, as Climber put it, always right or if he was wrong, you were too. Climber tried walking away (the child followed) and using his words (the child ignored him), but the niggling continued and in the end it came to blows. Not just the once, either. It also came to Climber feeling very angry indeed and really lashing out at the Other Child, and then feeling absolutely stressed out because he felt very uncomfortable for having reached those peaks of temper. I found out piecemeal through various discussions with my stressed and distressed child that the two of them had been involved in as many as 8 scuffles. Then last week they had such a blazing physical fight that other children felt the urge to step in and break it up. None of their fights were ever seen by the Yard Duty Teachers.
So I told his teacher about the Big Fight - I'd already talked with her about the ongoing tensions - and this resulted in Climber and the Other Child (plus the 6 other witnesses for part of it) being hauled in to have a big session with both the Principal and the Vice-Principal. They were very good and from what they've said to me have been very supportive of the Climber who they recognised as a gentle child, and one who had been provoked and moreover, one who had been trying, up to a point, to do the right thing. Our school has a No Hitting No Fighting policy which I'd pretty much forgotten about (shows you how closely I read the Student Code of Conduct when the kids sign it each year) so they took the incident very seriously indeed. Both boys had to write an apology to each other (Climber's said I am sorry for fighting back and not tell the yard duty teacher) and the Other Child is only allowed to play in a Restricted Area for the next week so that Climber doesn't have to encounter him in the schoolyard unless he chooses to. And it has also been made clear to them that the fighting is Not On.
Later that day the Vice-Principal called me in for a chat and I felt reassured that the problem was being dealt with properly. I also felt that they were looking out for Climber and had a good idea of the character of both boys. I had this pathetic moment when I suddenly got a mental image of Climber telling them his version of the events and maybe breaking down in there as he'd done many times when he'd discussed it with me and found to my embarrassment that I had started to cry. But the Vice-Principal merely handed me a tissue and told me that beyond getting slightly wobbly at one stage he had held himself together very well.
The Other Child was adamant that he didn't want his father informed of the trouble, and although the Principal was not in favour of this, (in her own words she said she was not as soft as the Vice-Principal) they agreed, after leaving the decision to Climber, to give him One Last Chance to improve his conduct. But Climber is under strict instruction to inform the Vice-Principal should the other child ever lay a finger on him again.
I think the Climber is feeling much happier about the whole situation and we'll just see how it all washes out.
