Two things.

The way we parent is an amalgam of the way we were brought up (the bits we accept, the bits we reject), the way our partners were brought up, the books we read, the money we earn, the country we live in. Etcetera, etcetera to quote the King of Siam.

But here are 2 random things that influenced my parenting.

1. Watching a documentary called Faces In The Mob, about kangaroos. There were these two mother kangaroos. One was very firm and bossy about training her joeys what to do. Her babies all lived. The other was a bit more slapdash, a bit vague and never any follow-through. Her joeys died; one was hunted, then lost and died a cold, lonely, pain-filled death. I can't tell you how much of an impact that show had on me. But I can tell you that my children know that No means No.



2. I house-sat for a friend who was also a cat-breeder. One of the cats liked to sleep with me, and decided she would still prefer to do this despite having given birth to a litter of kittens the previous night. While I was awake I kept returning the mother cat and her mouthful of mewling kitten back to their basket. But eventually I slept, and I slept deeply as I always do. When I woke the next morning, that very persistent cat (she was Burmese) and all her kitties were in with me, but 2 of them were cold and dead. Again, major impact on my psyche. I still remember coming to and wondering what the cold furry lump near my thigh was. I never let my babies sleep in the bed with me.