Friday, March 23, 2007

Real Parents of the Maternal Type Sometimes Swear in Front of their Kids...

...but have No Issue with Reprimanding Real Dads if they do the Same Thing.

WARNING! EXPLICIT LYRICS.

Em tagged me to become part of this series on telling some motherhood truths. And I suppose I could have done something thoughtful and provoking, and maybe sometime I will, but it's really hot in Melbourne today, my car is at the mechanic, I have a huge weekend ahead with performing Tap Kids AND this conveniently happened yesterday.

Cherub and I were rushing down the street to the tram stop to pick up Climber from school. Cherub's just woken up, it's hot and his legs aren't up to it.

"Can you carry me?" he asks

I scoop him up. His hat blows off, which means I have to backtrack, then bend down to retrieve it, in the heat, with the additional weight of the 3-year-old plus backpack.

So I say, in front of the innocent ears (it was hot, alright! I was in a hurry!! He was heavy!) : "Oh for f*ck's sake".

Cherub's ears pricked up.

"Dat's what Fixit says!! Bucks sake!!" he exclaims in pleased tones. "Fixit say dat. Bucks sake."

I was too busy falling over laughing to come up with a suitable response.

As an aside, and so you can see a pattern emerging here, I also remember Climber at a similar age getting quietly irritated with a malfunctioning toy and muttering "futtin sate!"

When you find a swear-phrase that works for you, you tend to stick with it.

I just read the rules. There should be a photo. Here you go.

I tag Shelly and Shula.

(had to edit this post as it was attracting a very unsavoury search from sick g00glers)

26 comments:

  1. I would have been laughing too!

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  2. *splutter* ha ha ha *snort* Now try Laura's "cocksuckity cocksucker"!

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  3. ps I forgot to tell you how VIRTUOUS I must be - my nearly 15 yr old daughter heard me drop an f recently and, with her chin on the floor, exclaimed "Mum! I didn't know you EVER said THAT!" I hide it well.

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  4. I let loose a stream of profanities in Italian.

    This way I get to be utterly foulmouthed, multilingual and, for all appearances, quite temperate in speech, for fuck's sake.

    -J.

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  5. Um, well, I'm restricting this information to your combox, but...

    I have always been a warts and all kind of parent, (like I could ever have been any other kind). I come from several generations of truckdrivers and have a mouth to make a sailor blush. I get particularly blue when driving in traffic, and people insist on being stupid.

    My daughter, when small, started all of her words with the letter 'h'. And I will never forget the look on the face of one particularly stupid driver, when my 3 year old leant out of her carseat to inform him, loudly, that he was a 'hoopid hucking hunt'.

    Or mine.

    I'm not sure I even waited for the lights to change, I was so outta there.

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  6. That's just hilarious!
    I remember Christmas lunch with the entire extended family. My nephew grabbed at my 3yo daughter's brand new barbie and she yelled across the table "Would you PISS OFF!"
    I just nodded proudly and thought that she was a girl who could stand up for herself.

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  7. Oh Yeah. I'm enjoying this combox already.

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  8. Kirsty's reply makes me think of my own special bad word .. which I am now banned from using.

    I only used it for shock effect anyway. Because I enjoy peppering a perfectly normal conversation with a left-field swearword.

    But it makes me sound so vulgar to even write it.

    Dare I ?

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  9. You may as well. We've already had the 'h' word(s).

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  10. That's very restrained of you. That's one of my regular swears. Outdid myself this week by swearing AT my daughter, for the first time, over eating her dinner. Not my finest moment. I still break out in a sweat thinking about it.

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  11. A small red headed girl cousin was sent out to the car in digrace- for calling her sister a bitch, in front of her Nanna.
    Her brother went out to taunt her so she screamed out the car window,
    JUST FUCK OFF!

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  12. How do I get a 'miss caroline's tap dance' singlet?

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  13. I'm loving this post and com box. Oh the joys of REAL motherhood - perfectionism is for twats (my recently re-picked up word said like it rhymes with mats).

    I said the exact same "phrase" as you to my kitchen sink only to hear it repeated around the house as "ucks sack"!

    Only today I called the absent driver of a car that had parked so close to the backside of my car that I couldn't open the boot an effing (see, can't even write it but I can say it!) idiot only to have the diva say "Mum, you should never call someone an idiot. It's not nice." Phew, got away with that one. I blame it on the humidity ;-)

    Shula's "hoopid hucking hunts" still has been laughing. Classic.

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  14. That should be "me" NOT "been"! Can I still blame the humuidity?

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  15. You realize that many successful men would willingly pay $4.99/hour to hear this sort of stuff?

    -J.

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  16. That is too funny!! Gotta love the way some kids say things!! My son couldn't say "Truck" and for a long time would say "There is a big Fuck!" I would say "A fuck is it?" "No not a Fuck a Fuck" - at least he could hear the difference!!!

    thanks for tagging me.
    shelly

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  17. Having my DD and little G'sons visiting this post couldn't have been better timed! As ladylike as DD is, I know that even though she doesn't say them out loud she HAS thought all of them!

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  18. Joke. Really? We could teach our kids to swear and make money from it too?

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  19. Everything is the 'F-word' to our 4yo. Even phrases like shut up. He gets such a horrified look on his face too. We get such a scolding ;)

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  20. hee hee

    I'm afraid mine may pick this particular expression up as well. From me.

    Sigh.

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  21. Just as a reply to your previous post - how I would love to be 40. But I remember feeling very conscious of getting older when that birthday came. You're not, though. You're in your prime. Enjoy it!

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  22. Loved this post. It's wonderful to know I'm not alone. Words of choice around our house, "Goddamn it!" and "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" I am after all of Irish descent and a lapsed Catholic to boot. Both boys have been known to use the phrases in context (ah -- am soooo proud).

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  23. Only just now read through Molly's comment and must hasten to add that I'm the oldest and best-behaved of her 5, therefore she can't imagine me swearing at all. I've got her good and fooled -- just ask my boys.

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  24. Well, you'd have gentlemen telephoning you, playing the role of misbehaving children. Misbehavio(u)r of such a nature you lost all sense of verbal decorum.

    Yes, that is highly lucrative.

    -J.

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Don't let the cat get your tongue.