Saturday, December 15, 2007

Purple sparkly minidresses

A little while ago I received an email from an event organiser looking for a tap-dancing act.
Hi there, I run a gay girls event called Blonde on the Rocks, in the cbd. Throughout our night we have a variety of shows that we put on. We've had a variety of shows so far consisting of hoola, circus tricks, topless tap dancing, skipping (professional), burlesque, classy stripping, contortion, fire tricks, puppetry with a twist and the list goes on.

Anyway I noticed on a flier that you have a troupe called the Tap-Pets and thought it was worth asking whether your girls have any stylised routines they'd be interested in performing at our night? For solo shows we pay $xx per show and for duos or more we pay $xx per show. Our favourite topless tapper has left our shores for a married life in xx so we miss our tapping routines!

Anyway if you think they're be interested and think they'd be up for the task, let me know.
I wrote back and said that while we could definitely provide a tap act, there was no way on earth it could be a topless one. I'm pretty comfortable with my body, but not quite that comfortable - especially seeing as I've breastfed 2 kids. Plus the other girls are my students and I didn't feel right asking them to do it. But the organiser said she wasn't even looking for a topless tap-dancer, she just missed having tapping at the shows because she loved it so. In that case, I replied, we're your gals. So then she felt duty-bound to warn me that we'd have to be very comfortable with performing in front of a crowd of adoring ladies. We thought about it for maybe 5 seconds and decided we could live with being adored.

Work began. We already had one act, some specky a'cappella tap leading into a sultry number to a Nina Simone song called I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl. But we had 2 performance slots on the night so I choreographed a feel-good routine to Mariah Carey's All I want for Christmas is you, to complement the Christmas theme.

Our costumes were whipped up by my dear friend Jenny who unlike me is a very good sewer. For which I can't thank her enough. As you can see, the costumes are purple. And sparkly. And short, very short. As it turned out though, we were slightly overdressed compared to the other performers...

Naturally, such purple sparkliness needed to be accompanied by red lipstick and false eyelashes. For a change, I affixed mine first go ... ... but Kaye and Jodie were wimps and after a failed attempt gave it up.

Making my list was a good idea (and essential given that prior to the show was Cherub's crèche Christmas party, which is why my performance list also includes items like wrap small presents and cook Shrek patties); it meant that I did not forget my Santa hat for the Christmas routine. Unlike Mel. Fortunately the barmaid had one, even though it was black and said "naughty" on the brim. Which given the vibe of the show was actually okay but I wished we'd realised before we went on that the 'naughty' writing had red flashing lights inbuilt because how cool would that have been?

This is half a shot of the very crowded dressing room, which was home to the assorted barely dressed performers and the glasswasher and ice-machine. There were a couple of burlesque girls, a hula hoop artiste, some belly-dancers and the occasional venue staff navigating their way through holding a tray of glasses.

We were the opening act, with our Nina Simone routine and it went really well, you could tell they liked us. But it was our second number later in the evening that really went off. From the opening strains of Mariah crooning I don't want a lot for Christmas to us leaving the stage waving and blowing kisses, we were adored. Totally and utterly. And it was one of those performances that everything went right, and I can recall it with perfect clarity because it was fun and I felt completely focussed and there were all these chicks smiling and dancing and clapping and stamping and trying to tap and cheering and screaming and whooping. It was SO MUCH FUN!!!! Then we were led through the crowd and girls were stopping us left, right and centre to tell us how great it was. I could get used to that, I reckon.

Jodie, me, Kaye and Mel

I got stopped as I walked through the crowd and asked if I was gay. When I replied (apologetically) in the negative, she said she could tell really but that it was a shame.

30 comments:

  1. Fabulous darling, just fabulous. Love the false eyelashes, and you all look so beautiful.
    (Just quietly, I adore the Mariah Carey version of that song).

    ReplyDelete
  2. I suspect I enjoyed this post slightly more than I should have.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The eyelashes look stunning. I am so impressed you know how to attach the things. What a great night. I wouldn't mind being adored by a roomful of naughty ladies, it's got to be good for the ego,

    Jenny

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a great post. It put a smile on my face.

    How wonderful to be so adored, even just for a few minutes :)

    Heidi

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh good on YOU!!

    I am proud of you, I almost feel like your mother, except that would mean I gave birth to you at a ridiculously young age, and some poor bloke would be in the slammer for like, forever, because of it.

    Anyway, I digress. I agree with the non topless thing. The world aint quite ready for that from me yet, and they would end up having to rescuscitate me anyway because my boobs would bitch slap me each time I jumped and ultimately knock me out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sounds like being adored is very good for the ego :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. How fantastic! I smiled and smiled when reading your post. Mega impressed that you know how to attach false eyelashes!

    ReplyDelete
  8. So much fun! I hope you stuck around for the classy stripping and the contortion acts too!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sounds like you all had fun! Congratulations on the adulation!

    ReplyDelete
  10. topless and tapping should only go together in the VERY perky - all that jumping and bouncing about could cause an injury!

    Purple and sparkly was a fabulous choice.

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh purple sparklies.... it really doesn't get better than that! And being adored too! I can barely stand myself topless long enough to shower! Certainly couldn't do it in a crowd. But think how they would have adored you then!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Classic.

    I wish I could skip ( professionally ) though. I feel so amateur now..

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a fantastic , uplifting story.

    How gorgeous to be adored.

    I feel like you could write a novel about this. Or at least a short story.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow, fantastic. Congrats on a great night. You all looked awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I miss being a Tap-Pet. Sounds like it was great fun. Just out of curiosity, how much would they have paid for topless tap dancing??! Not that anyone would pay to see my breast feeding boobies. Lots of hideous stretch marks. Ha ha ha!

    Have you worked out days/times/venue of classes for next year? Hmmm...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ha! The rate was the same for topless as modest. Where's the incentive????

    ReplyDelete
  17. I agree with Shula. I'm slightly disturbed at how much fun I had with this post.

    -J.

    ReplyDelete
  18. sounds like super fun! I'd have loved to be in the audience.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow! Sounds like a fabulous night.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a great time - it sounds like so much fun! I always wanted to tap but my mom didn't want me practicing in the kitchen loudly so she signed me up for ballet.

    ReplyDelete
  21. You all look fabulous! Sounds like a great night of entertainment - I could have pretended I was gay so I could go... Or do you really need to prove it at the entrance?

    I am sure you will be back by popular demand next year.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You could get hooked on that kind of adoration....watch out Fixit!
    Sounds like you may be invited back next year.

    ReplyDelete
  23. That was so much fun to read - I bet it was every bit as fun as you made it sound. Good for you. I hope this will be a regular gig and we can all live vicariously through you!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Goodness me, that sounds like a very different world from the one I inhabit...

    You don't get a lot of actual adulation in my job. On the other hand, the world wouldn't be ready for me even in a purple mini dress. Ah well. Back to the marking.

    ReplyDelete
  25. omg you hot mamma you!!! ps what was in the shrek cookies??!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Stopping in to wish you and your family a happy Christmas. The purple dress is quite fetching, by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Im feeling pangs of jealousy. Pangs.

    ReplyDelete

Don't let the cat get your tongue.