Friday, January 07, 2011

Sun and Sorrow

We had a beautiful 2 day stay with my Aunt and Uncle at Barwon Heads, where we discovered the wonderful surf beach at Ocean Grove, possibly the best beach for boogie-boarding ever.  The kids' faces as they caught those long waves all the way to shore were a perfect picture of happiness and exhilaration.

Tomorrow morning we are heading off for the much-anticipated Mothers Group holiday in Rosebud.  Jenny, Astrid and I and all the husbands and chillun, in one big house by a beach.  It will be awesome.

And in between and indeed across these two idylls, is my pain at losing my friend Mavis, who has only days to live.  She has fought breast cancer for 5 years now, but at Christmas time, the secondary cancers, which had been mostly in control, suddenly turned feral and in the blink of an eye there was nothing anyone could do anymore.  Mavis has two children, boys the exact same age as mine, and the eldest one is Climber's best friend.  The boys have been on holiday with their father (the one who left her this year when she was having chemo): they came home today to an empty house and the news that Mummy was in the hospice, and when they asked the inevitable question they were told the terrible truth.  So the next few days will be a saying of goodbyes for her family.  The rest of us, knowing that she is in too much pain and too wretched about saying goodbye to her children to cope with anything more than this, are putting our farewells into writing and waiting for the news.

19 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry Caroline. Sit with your boys. Hug them. Nothing eases pain like little arms around your neck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's just awful. I simply cannot think of anything else to say.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Caroline, what a dreadful time, waiting. I hope she gets the time with her boys to say her goodbyes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so very sad, for her, her boys, and for you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It makes my problems so small and stupid after reading this post. So very sorry to read about your friend. I love how you each wrote stuff down for her to read. That's beautiful.

    Maybe that sunshine down at Rosebud filled with friends and laughter will help.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thinking of you .. Just terrible.. Bloody feral disease

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh that's so sad, I'm really sorry to hear that news about your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So sorry about your friend Stomper, and her little boys.....and you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh that is so sad. Thinking of you and especially her children.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Funny, but I was thinking a lot today of my friend A who died in 2001, when both of us had sons aged about 5 and 7. I remember the conversations I had with my boys then about dying, and I hope you will have them too. Her sons have thrived and have done brilliantly, and I have been delighted to talk with them about her. A has a memorial seat, at the beach in our little community. It's a lovely thing. Courage Stomper, courage.

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh, so sorry for your friend, and for her boys and for you, and for your boys too

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Goodness me. I just read this. I'm so sorry. WHat a dreadful reality for those poor boys. :(

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm so sorry. What a horrible, painful thing for everyone. I hope that there will be as much love and grace and healing as there ever can be at a time like this.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, hell. I'm sorry. Sorry for everyone involved.

    ReplyDelete
  15. That is so sad for everyone involved. I'm really sorry.

    ReplyDelete

Don't let the cat get your tongue.