Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Mavis



This morning my friend Mavis died peacefully in the hospice with her devoted sister at her side. She was 46 years old. I'm glad her suffering is finally over, because this last year has been awful for her. She never really let on though, she was brave and full of hope and chirpy through so much of it. But I will miss her.

I'm not sure how her two young sons will cope, frankly. Since the secondary cancers appeared and started causing havoc, I think Mavis' normal place at the centre of the family was gradually eroded. She was often in her bed, battling pain and illness and tiredness. So although Mummy was there for the boys last year, she wasn't really there in lots of ways. I think they've had an acclimatisation process, if that makes sense. I'm thinking back now to how she made a supreme effort and came along to the Grade 4 Concert in September last year and the School Fete in November, the last school things she ever did, and I feel glad and proud of her that she did that. There seems to be this awful dilemma of making choices whether to reserve your strength to fight the disease or using it so that you can still be part of the life that's going on around you.

Anyway. I will miss Mavis and her cheeky sense of humour, and her posh British accent, her forthright views and her kindness and generosity. I will think of her whenever I see a particular shade of green because it was her favourite. And I will keep an eye out and arms open to her poor motherless boys. Good-bye dear Mavis, rest well.

23 comments:

  1. I bet she's glad of your eyes and open arms. My thoughts are with those who loved her.

    ReplyDelete
  2. God bless those little boys. I'm sure it was a comfort to Mavis to have a friend like you.....May she rest in peace.chal

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, that's the tail end of the first word verification that jumped onto my comment....

    ReplyDelete
  4. It sucks so much when there is a person-shaped hole in the universe. It never really gets filled back up. Thinking thoughts of peace and healing for everyone involved.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My thoughts are with you. So sad for all her family and friends.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thinking of you, and all those around Mavis.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mavis has a beautiful smile. I'll bet she was fun.
    I'm so sorry, C.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My love, sympathy and tears to you and for Mavis and her family. She surely knew how much so many people loved her and her boys, and who will treasure her memory.

    ReplyDelete
  9. xx

    a couple of these too ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  10. So sorry to hear that. She looks and sounds like a fun, bright and brave person.

    All the best to you and her family, especially her boys.

    ReplyDelete
  11. so sorry for everyone who knew and loved her

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thinking of you and sending you love.

    ReplyDelete
  13. RIP to Mavis.
    We have just lost a friend, who was mother, and best friend, for her children.
    RIP Carmen.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm so sorry, Stomper. Those boys are blessed to have your open arms to run to. Love emanates from you.

    Wishing comfort to you and all of Mavis' people.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I heard Tony Benn (MP) phrase it beautifully today when taaking about the death of his wife of 60 something years - 'When someone dies you fill the space they leave with happy memories'.

    May you be able to do that for both yourself, those boys and their dad.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thinking of you Stomper and those who loved Mavis - especially her two boys.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sad, I'm sure she found comfort knowing her friends will keep their eyes and arms open for her boys.xxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm so sorry Caroline.

    I am sure it was a big comfort to her to know that she had friends like you who would help her boys cope and remember her.

    ReplyDelete

Don't let the cat get your tongue.