Fixit and I confronted the threatener-Dad in the playground on Wednesday, and this is how I would score it:
Delaying the confrontation by a week so that Fixit was with me? WIN. Excellent decision. He stood there strong and true and wouldn't take crap from the man, which allowed me to say most of the things that needed to be said.
Getting through to the creep? FAIL. He blustered and lied and denied and took no responsibility. Interestingly I think the incident has been weighing on his conscience because he knew exactly what we were talking about, despite it having happened 9 months ago. He did initially flirt with trying to pretend he didn't, but then quickly changed tack and swung between playing it down (it wasn't threatening, apparently) or asserting his right to protect his own child, and once he even tried to shift blame for the incident onto Climber. What a nice guy he is, to be sure. He also tried to tell us he didn't know who Climber's parents were to speak to at the time, which is an awful lie, and one that we called him on, with maximum derision. He and I have spoken many times, and his dreadful wife absolutely knows who I am.
Demonstrating to our kids that we have got their backs? WIN. And that was one of the reasons for going through with it. I explained to Climber later what had happened and said quite openly that a mature adult would have felt sorry for so frightening a child, but that this creep is both dumb and mean, so no luck there. But I said to Climber main thing is, we are looking out for you and the creep knows that now.
Demonstrating to that family not to mess with us? WIN. Pretty sure anyway. You can't always tell with nutters.
Saying all the well-thought out things that I wanted to say? SCRAPED A PASS. The guy's bluster and denials and lies were off-putting, and meant that he got to be in charge of some of the conversation. But having Mister Fixit standing next to me saying bullshit! at regular intervals meant that we were able to press on. The one thing I really wish I'd got to say was how would you feel if someone had done that to your child? because that was going to be my killer line but oh well, I'll just save it up for if the wife decides to have a go.
Have we made things better or worse by saying something? ie will it now escalate unpleasantly? REMAINS TO BE SEEN. Let's not forget that they are unstable, selfish and mean-minded.
Use of confrontation as a means to calm me down? WIN. I've had this gnawing feeling in my guts ever since Climber told me about it. As soon as we'd had our chat with the creep, my stomach settled. Brain's still thinking about it but less and less every day.
How did it end? Well, it ended with us walking away from him in disgust and I have to say, I was, in my Pollyanna-ish way, very disappointed with him as a person, even though I did kind of know what sort of weasel he probably was. But still! Why can't people be better, hmm? My parting words to the creep, issued in scornful tones as we both stalked away, were I've reported you to the school. Keep away from my children. And I think Fixit may have called him a scumbag. I guess if Mr Creepy wasn't going to rise above, then we had to sink to his level a bit to get the point across. I'm happy with our exit lines actually. I think we told him. On balance it feels like a win.
good Methodist kid
2 hours ago