You know, if I was going to offer advice to my kids about what they should look for in a partner, it would be this: Choose someone who treats you well. Sure, you can be led by whether they knock your socks off with their charm or looks or wit, or the fact that you have a whole host of mutual interests, or even by what they do for a living. But if they don't treat you well, with respect and kindness in good times AND in bad, then you should tread carefully and for gawd's sake don't have kids with them. (Fixit treats me well. Our relationship is not perfect but he and I always try to remember to treat each other as we'd like to be treated and so far it is working. My friend Mavis, whose husband left her while she was having chemo for her secondary cancers ie Did NOT Treat Her Well, said to me Fixit cherishes you and my husband doesn't cherish me. That was why it was a relief when he left her really. But I think I'll always remember what she said. Kindness and cherishing, you don't grow sick of them.) There. That's my two cents for the day. I reckon if I look back on 2011 I'll remember it as the year of worrying about my family and of how they were treated. I hope in 2012 they move on to better times.
Meantime: Happy Birthday Nell. I may have a present for you soon... you know, maybe. When I get my act together. Which I definitely don't at the moment, as evidenced by my signing up to go away with Jen, Astrid and Nell for an escape to Bendigo, only to realise catastrophically late that it clashed with our school fete. So now I can't go away with the girls because rule number one of primary school is thou shalt do thy fete duty. I was really looking forward to Bendigo too, seeing the wedding dress exhibition and having fun with a lovely bunch of women.
I do literally feel like a juggler who is starting to drop her juggling balls at the moment. I probably need to write lists or something, otherwise I'll behave like a lunatic when anything is added to my load. Like for instance, I gave myself a stress headache doing my turn of the catering for the Climber's Cricket Team. It all turned out fine in the end and there was enough to eat, they all seemed to like it and no-one got food poisoning. But my stomach was in knots and my back was in spasm that day, and to have got myself into such a state about a bit of extra cooking is ridiculous, and only happened because I'm worrying about other stuff.
This is why it's been All Quiet on the Blogging Front. But anytime soon I'm going to blog about Flat Stanley, Oliver! and the cool extra job I've been doing.
The retired life
14 hours ago
heres hoping 2012 is a better year.....for a lot of us.
ReplyDeletehugs
Yep, true that, if your beloved does not treat you well, then they are not really a beloved!
ReplyDeleteMutual respect, kindness and a sense of humour.....Way more important than looks, occupation, brains, coolness. But you also can't put an old head on young shoulders. Sometimes the only way to learn is by experience.....
ReplyDeleteHere's to a better year ahead for us all!
I know it has been a worrying year for you our Stomper.
ReplyDeleteI do hope that next year is so much better for you and yours.
xxx
I tell the boys to stay away from anyone who's really high maintenance... imagine how exhausting it'd be to try and keep "Daddy's Little Entitled Princess" contented?
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the mutual respect thing. MDH and I do not have a perfect relationship by any means, but we support each other and care and are aware and I do NOT know how I would have gotten through the last few months without him holding me up. I can rely on him, and I hope I can provide the same level of support to him when he needs it.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to Nell. We all love Nell. She's the friend every woman deserves.
Yep - I'll go with kindness, mutual respect and cherishing. When you're in it for the long haul the rest is icing on the cake.
ReplyDeleteLists. That's my secret weapon.
ReplyDeleteHope things improve for all in 2012.
I always think the year ahead is to be more exciting and happening than the one we are currently in. If 2012 holds what we hope it holds in this household, then a good year will be held.
ReplyDeleteStressful times are stressful, stomper. Be good to yourself. Tis hard work worrying about the ones that we love. xx
ReplyDeleteSounds like we're fighting at the same front. Though I note you have your wits about you - enough to, on top of everything else, take on board one very sage piece of advice.
ReplyDeleteI hope you and your family have an easier time of it in 2012.
ReplyDeleteAlso, happy birthday Nell!
Also poo to the weekend-fete clash. Poo poo poo.
Whenever you're ready. And worry? I can do that professionally, if you ever need any tips.
ReplyDeleteI make lists and I have to say, it helps. But sometimes there is too much ON the list and I still am stressed out. I'm there now. Needing to step away and probably let the balls drop. The world won't end.
ReplyDeleteLove that you have remembered so deeply what Mavis said. It makes the small stuff seem like small stuff.
Indeed. I hope next year is indeed less stressful for you and your lovely lovely family.
ReplyDeleteI hope next year is better too.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, lists, definitely lists! When I'm at my most crazy busy and feel like my head will explode if I'm asked to do one more thing I stop. Even though I don't feel like I have time to stop. And I make a list. It's very helpful. The list itself will eliminate that horrible "I'm forgetting something feeling" and the pause to make it helps too.
As for the mutual respect and being treated well, I agree, it's the most important thing. In partners, family, colleagues, friends.