Thursday, February 01, 2007

Weird and wonderful.

No I'm not talking about the 6 Weird Things Meme that has been sweeping the corner of the blogosphere that I inhabit. Although that has been fun to read.

Its this damn interweb phenomenon. It's wonderful because you make friends, you can share your life with people who don't see you often and you can have your own little soapbox.

But as 2 recent communications to myself demonstrate, it can lay you open to some weirdness.

Firstly. The sms I received recently:

Carol contact me if your [sic] single and looking 4 a good time

I'm assuming this person found my mobile (cellphone) number via my business website for my tap dancing. As well as my name (he/she didn't actually get it right but we're in the ballpark here). And I think he or she has seen the nice flattering photos I have of myself on the site (well only a fool would put up the ugly photos of themselves, right? And they're not raunchy pics or even the littlest bit come-hither. They are pics of me looking like a dancer.) And this person may have thought that tap chick is totally hot, I'll just leave a message and see if she's up for it. Like my sister says: If ya don't ask, ya don't git.

Honestly, though! What are the chances of a chick receiving an anonymous request 4 a good time and thinking what the hell, could be fun?

I have to admit I'm at a little bit of a loss for the correct thing to do in this situation. What I'd like to do is call the cops. (In a perfect world they would have a neat little register of phone numbers where you could report anyone leaving unsolicited requests 4 a good time. And then if I were found dead in a ditch at least the cops would be on to them. Of course, it wouldn't help me that much but at least I'd have some knowledge of justice coming to bear at a later date.) But I think realistically my options are (a) trashing the message unacknowledged. (b) Sending a return message along the lines of Thankyou for your offer but the truth is I am an exhausted and harried mother clinging desperately to the last days of her 30s who hardly ever bothers with make-up , rarely brushes her hair, is regularly seen out in trackie-daks and whose interest in gratifying the needs of complete strangers is non-existent. Better luck next time. I'll probably choose option (a), though, as I don't want to be seen to be entering into a dialogue on this matter.

Now for freaky internet thing #2.

One of my previous posts was obviously accessed by a google search and as a result I received a very peculiar email. Now I don't want these people coming back so I'm going to talk gibberish at you for the next bit. The phrase from that previous post that attracted the l0onies (whoever they are because I WILL NOT be visiting the loony website they want me to just in case it's under investigation by Govt. Furniture Items of Checking Out People** or equivalent) rhymes (badly) with Irrational Maturity Skirt* and the loonies have a website devoted to Irrational Maturity Skirts and they accessed my blog as someone who might be interested in Irrational Maturity Skirts and exhorted me approximately 30 times in the email to check out the Irrational Maturity Skirt website. And NOW I see via my sitemeter stats that I have been visited by a BLOCKED REFERRER which may mean the Govt Furniture have already checked me out OR that the loonies are seriously scarey.

The previous post that I assume led the loonies here was a joke! Not even a political one.


So. I am a bit slightly freaked out. I trashed the email.

I will try and end this post with a semblance of normality. A lovely birthday photo of the Birthday Boy and his grandma who made the trip especially to be with him for his birthday, something she doesn't get to do much. And who cooked us a truly magnificent Osso Bucco and who was quite clearly worried about the extreme over-decoration going on with his birthday cake! Did I mention Climber is a minimalist? I think these things tend to skip a generation.

* Go here if you need clues with the bad rhyming.
** See the comments box for clarification on the furniture ref.
*** Except on a need-to-know basis.


  1. You were right. Total gibberish to my American eyeballs. In fact, I fear it may have been gibberish to Australian eyeballs, in which case I don't have a prayer.

    But I agree with whatever it was you were trying to convey.


  2. See? I'm so paranoid now I'm not making sense. Was it the furniture bit that was too obscure? (perhaps at this late stage I should try something along the lines of eff bee eye to aid gibberish translation?) Or was the it the loony stuff? I don't want to say their name again, I never want them to come back whoever they are...

  3. I hate those bulk, spammy e-mails too. After the first few invitations to have my non-existent penis enlarged, I stopped reading anything that remotely sounded like it came from a source I didn't recognise. I can find the'delete' button with my eyes closed , in the dark.

  4. ....figured out irrational maturity skirts.But the govt. furniture thing?? Clueless. Hope they go away and never come back! It did make for a funny, interesting post though.

  5. Yeah, I hate those too, but this was less spam and more zealotry. It was the equivalent of having a light-hearted blog about your Inner Nazi and suddenly receiving a "join us" email from the Nazi Party.

  6. Govt Furniture = eff bee eye (because a Bureau is a type of furniture, right?)

  7. Very clever, Stomper, but wot's the other one? Joke was right (again, dammit).

    Don't sweat it. It happens.

    And don't let it cramp your style. The rest of us are enjoying ourselves so very much.

  8. I'm sorry but I don't get the "skirt" rhyme either...but it's great to see someone who gets as paranoid as me! I don't think the Cosmopolitan I'm drinking is an aid to my understanding!

    As to the SMS message, it reminds me of the 10% salesman's rule. Apparently, if you ask the question 10 times, at least 1 person will say yes! It's why these telemarketers keep calling!!@**#

  9. Ok, I worked out both the skirt rhyme and the obscure furniture reference. Does this put me into an elite club?

    There are some freaky, scary people on the internet. Usually they can be avoided, but when they come looking for you it is quite unnerving.

  10. Well ok, I worked out the skirt bit but not the furniture. Perhaps because the FBI is an American dept and I was trying to work out why ASIO resemble furniture?

    I suppose all this makes me a half wit anyway.

    Keep on bloggin' and don't let the loonies get you down. Or even out 4 a good time.

  11. Tracey you are so at the top of the class. I'm sensing a talent for cryptic crosswords. Gold star or elephant stamp, take your pick.

    Suse! Dude! Sssshhhh. Don't say the furniture-people's name okay? I don't want them on my back...

  12. Indeed Suse! or we might have to agree with your self diagnosis...

  13. Hells Bells! My head hurts!

    I don't think that the webcrawlers pick up comments, so I believe you will be safe to speak in a non-cryptic way as long as you confine it to the comments section. The skirt and furniture people will not find you here!!

    Yuck to creepy commenters.

  14. what's the skirt one though? I did love the whole comparisons on how we all handle the terrorism threat and agree you guys would definately have a cricket match, and then thrash everyone else at it.

  15. got the skirt thing now. hurrah brain still functioning.

  16. can't think....can't think...
    or maybe I just can't rhyme...

    creepy correspondence you've been getting though... shudder

  17. SF *looking cautiously over BOTH shoulders* You can't be too careful with these mad skirt people.

    Besides, I'm far too caught up in my paranoia now to think rationally.
    *pulls all-concealing hat over face, dons very dark sunglasses and slinks quietly out of sight*

    Velcro: Cracked me up! Take that, Bad Guys. Watch us hit you over the boundary for 6, after we've bowled you into submission.

    Ewe: Okay, I'll give you one of the words for free. There you go. irrational = nashunul. (Shut UP SF, You.never.know ...) Now try harder.

  18. Ooooh, I get it now!! Hee hee! I get your hesitation because I could be just lulling you into a false sense of security. I could BE from the skirt department ... so don't trust me!!! But, really, you can trust me :)

  19. Delete and don't worry about it.
    I get blocked referrers and are suss about it too - but whatcha gonna do ?

    I don't have my blog accessable through Blogger though - it's an 'unlisted number', so to speak .. which means I don't get any of those 'funny' returns on searches, like "granny undies with skidmarks' and such .. not that I blog about such things ;)

    Or that such things like that EXIST in our house TO blog about ;)

  20. Ahh, I waited for the smart people to figure it out, then came over again to see what the HELL you were talking about!!
    Hi from the dumb blonde in the corner :-)
    PS. Totally understand the paranoia, I told you and House about my six degrees of separation from a mass-murd3r3r commenter, didn't I?


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