Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Dear Kettle, you're black signed The Pot

If we get to school early enough my kids have fun playing tiggy/chasey around the play equipment with other Grade 2 children of Climber's acquaintance. Cherub adores it, but he is rather hopeless at it (it's a size and age thing) and only catches other children if the girls take pity on him and say catch me, Cherub-ie!! (they all put an "ie" on the end of his name) and then go off to catch the boys for him. This morning a boy -from our year but one that has never been in *our* class, so I don't know him that well- was pretending to be in danger of being caught by Cherub, effortlessly dodging side to side of some chains. Each time he dodged he said, in a oh-I'm-worried, he's-going-to-catch-me tone; Shit! (dodge) Shit! (dodge) Shit! I was in a rush to leave for Cherub's swimming lesson, making me marginally hassled anyway as I ran up to grab Cherub. So I frowned at the child and said sternly Don't say shit to a 4-year-old please. To his credit the kid looked very abashed and apologised immediately.

Should I now feel bad for saying shit to a 7 year old?

In case you don't know me, I swear a lot but try not to in front of the small people...


  1. I don't know, but once again you've literally made me laugh out loud. Actually, it was kind of a snort.

    I think you got the kid's attention.

    Reminds me of the time I got on a young lout's back about spelling his profanity properly, and made him practice conjugating some of the verbs. Good times.

  2. Yes, apparently 7 is the age where they're old enough to say the word, and young enough to be apologetic for saying it and not realise he had the perfect opportunity to be a smart arse for you using the word.

  3. You crack me up :)

    I'd have done the same thing...and had the same question afterwards!


  4. well, it sounds like it was my 7 year old, and you are welcome to say shit to him if required

  5. Well you had to point out what word you were objecting to....I think I would have done the same.

  6. Isn't 90% of parenting done by the proverbial seat of our pants? My kids just love it when they get to dob on someone swearing because then they can say loudly "X said "shit", Mum, he did, I heard him say "shit" - luxuriating in the opportunity to say the word several times with impunity LOL So, if you hear my girls, tell 'em off no problems, but expect them to dob on you back again...

    Would you believe that this afternoon I told a 10 year old at the very same school ;) that I could always mention to either his teacher or his mother that he was calling out to kids walking past "piss off, you arse-holes", if he wanted to continue doing so - he probably had a very similar abashed, sprung bad expression as your little culprit.

    Btw, lovely to see you today :D

  7. Well, what were you supposed to do? -tell him to please not say 'that word'? It's not a very specific request, right?

    We mothers need to be kinder to ourselves because let's face it - we're all winging it!

  8. At least you said please.

    And did you cover Cherub's ears while you said shit or did you say it front of the 4 year old too?


  9. Hmm. I said it over his head so I don't think he really heard me, but yes, I said shit in front of the 4 year old too.

  10. Don't worry, I have taught my 2yo that very word. Tiny single-lane mountain roads, crazy Montenegrin drivers, sheer drops down 1000m to the sea, not a guard-rail in sight: oh yes, it was uttered many a time on my recent holiday. And the small person took great pleasure in repeating. Attempting to deprogram now!

  11. I'm pretty sure that 7 year old had heard the word 'shit' before!

  12.'re off to hell in a handbasket. Saying shit in front of a 7 year old AND a 4 year old?

    There's nothing shocks a 7 year old more than a potty-mouthed mother telling them off! Bet he never says it on school grounds again.

  13. There is some family folklore out our way about an acquaintance who swore a lot reprimanding his son for swearing by using the phrase "stop swearing you little bastard".

    You have my permission to use it on any seven year old you find misbehaving. I swear in front of my kid all the time. He has a phrase now that sounds very much like "oh dear shit". I have no idea where he learned "oh dear".

  14. I'm with Tracey. Apparently, you weren't the first adult to say it in front of him. Of course, he could have older siblings....

    But I don't think you've corrupted him.

  15. You need to learn to say "shit" in a foreign language to children. This allows you to engage in teh guilty pleasure of midlevel profanity at will and it teaches the child something and, should the child ever repeat what he's learned, he'll merely sound worldly and cultured, as opposed to an ill-mannered lout which is how all small children who say "shit" sound.


  16. Dear Pot, Ya done good, signed The Moll.

  17. My usual explanation is: "I was saying to to demonstrate the word, in which case its not actually swearing." Works every time.
    My 7yo's best friend told me his Mum says shit is okay. "Not in my house lad", was my reply. Brazen little turd he is.

  18. I don't discriminate; I swear in front of anyone and everyone.

    My children tell me off ALL the time.

  19. A *lovely* bitch .. err girl .. we met at the Speechie a few sessions ago played a bit of roll-the-ball with my son in the waiting room.

    Every time the bitch rolled to him, she'd say, ever so softly "You're a loser". My son kept looking at me quizzically, as if he realised the game was a little 'off'. The mother laughed gaily at it. I wanted to punch her face in.

    Anyway, since my polite 'that's not very nice!' went unnoticed, I closed in on the girl when her mummy went toiley. I hope she dobbed on me later. I don't mind being a bitch myself ...

  20. oh, and Bob's nads were quite old by the time we got them chopped.

    And when we went to pick him up, I was all 'errr?', because they still looked to be there ? Swingin' ?

    So I asked the Vet, very quietly, embarrassed, and he grabbed a nad and gave it a squeeze and said "see, nothing there!"

    Alrighty then.

    How embarrassment.

    But Bertie will still have something to show off to the girls.
    So there you go.


Don't let the cat get your tongue.