Saturday, August 23, 2008


Here's an excerpt from a little book I wrote for the Climber when he was 4. I thought I'd share it with you in case you were unsure of why the Tooth Fairy has been collecting teeth from little children all these years. We're picking up the action here after the Climber's tooth had fallen out and the blood made him feel like crying and his father had been unable to satisfactorily explain why the Climber needed to part with his pearly white and he'd gone to bed with the tooth under the pillow only to be woken by a fairy trying to shift his head out of the way. Thus.

Now for my confession:

I didn't give all the Climber's baby teeth to the Tooth Fairy.

Even though I know she needs them, and there could be a fairy dust crisis out there for all I know. But I just wanted to keep a couple. I don't know why. I don't even know what I'm going to do with them.

In fact, so far all I have done with them is hide them in my junky kitchen cupboard, up high (as if that could ever be fool-proof in our house with my children) in the same place as we often keep ... lollies.

So guess what? Climber came into the bathroom as I was about to step into my shower, and, with an air of one determined to make a clean breast of it, he announced that he knew the tooth fairy wasn't real. I stood there reeling for a minute and then, in this order, but with lengthy pauses in between as I tried to work out what to say next, I said:

How do you know? (I found my teeth and a note in a cupboard).
Were you looking for lollies? (Yes)
Bad. (I'm sorry)
You mustn't tell the Cherub. (I already have...why?)
Well, because...err..umm .. he's only little, hasn't even lost a tooth yet...

... and finally, finally I stammered about how I hadn't wanted to give them all away because I just wanted to keep some for myself.

And like a weight had been thrown from his shoulders, he stopped looking so worried and cheerfully dashed out to the tell the Cherub that she does exist and Mummy had just kept a few teeth.


  1. Oh that is just so cute - and just so funny!

  2. Climbers tend to make it into high places. Perhaps you should not have chosen a high place to hide them.

    Just saying...

    He is a good brother.

  3. I haven't hung on to the kids baby teeth. I have though about it every time one has fallen out (clearly not when they have been swallowed).

    Actually now I think about it I may have kept one of Margot's - but I can't remember where I put it.

    You are a lovely mum!

  4. Oh Stomper, you are an amazing mother. I can't believe you wrote a book for Climber about the tooth fairy. It's not just sweet, either, it's really GOOD. Maybe in between tap classes you might think about tapping out a children's book? I'm not kidding.

    I was so relieved at the end to hear that the tooth fairy lives on..... may she have a long and happy life!

  5. Stomper, driving in the Fast Lane on the Razor's Edge of Parenting.

  6. I have Alby Mangroves' whisker, Madam's nail, Balt and Rubi's little doggie teeth, a cutting of Mr Mangroves' sideburns and both the Ratbag's and Peanut's belly-button cords with clamps still around them :) In case I need to do some magic on one of them to make them do my bidding. I should have used it at Scienceworks.

  7. yes me too, I like your story about the tooth fairy much better than the one I found about the fairies from tooth fairy school who get lost - not enough how and why - yours is perfect!

    Grace reclaimed her tooth from wher I was hiding it (to give to the tooth fairy when the time was right) and it hasn't been seen since.

  8. You're a bit TOO facile with the mythology.


  9. I didn't keep any chunks of ivory. I'm very unsentimental.
    I'm surprised my kids believed for as long as they did... every now and then the tooth fairy would take a week or so before she'd remember to take delivery .

  10. ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh that was cute!

  11. Oh man. Don't you hate it when they do that? We stupidly hid the Christmas gifts in the top of Rob's closet WITHOUT COVERING THEM one year and Santa almost bought it.... twice.

    Love the fairy story. So sweet. And I'm so relieved to know she's real. Even if she left my wisdom teeth behind. Did you know she lives in Margot's stomach? You need to add that bit to the story.

  12. That was adorable. And a remarkable save on your part.

  13. Great save! You'd be good at Theatre sports

    tooth fairy story should be published..maybe you could do a series?

  14. oh. my.

    what a *fantastic* story you wrote ( and illustrated ) - I may have to borrow it from you ( do kids loose their toohies at 4 ? - I was under the impression it was later - YIPES ! )

    I was more concerned as I read, that someone might have lost a tooth chomping on a tooth they *thought* was a lolly !!!

    Climber is such a cherub himself.
    You raise good children


  15. You selfish, selfish mother. Just think of the shortage of fairy dust.

    This post and your book so deserve to be out there. Very beautiful!

  16. May I borrow this line when my children find their teeth?!

  17. I hid mine in plain view in the jewellry box- they never found them.
    Cute story.

  18. Love your story. And your confession. Last time PL lost a tooth he decided not to put it out for the tooth fairy. He was feeling a little flush with money after his birthday and didn't really think the tooth fairy's rate was worth it - I think he's holding out for a higher price.

  19. Tizzy is still trying to figure out how to get his teeth to fall out so he can grow up already. It's a bit disconcerting some of the ideas that cross his mind in this vein... so far he hasn't knocked any out.
    I love the book!
    And the reassurance.

  20. oh, that is so sweet. I loved that you "fessed up" (kinda). I have a tendency to go a little crazy with the creative explanation and now my kids are warped (I think that's the reason they're warped). Terrific post.I came from Woman in a Window's recommendation.

  21. Oh my God! The little buggers can find ANYTHING .... except their hat when you are running late for school, or their other shoe, or the special note they wrote to their friend ....
    That is such a cute story :)

  22. I've got ALL of my kids teeth. I'm hoping they don't tear themselves away from WIPEOUT as I write this.
    The trickiest bit of the deception I found was explaining to the kids when the Fairy FORGOT to collect the teeth . God those fairies are so lazy sometimes. They have a couple too many wines then they forget to climb the ladder up to the kids beds. Criminal.

  23. Oh, I just found the stash of my girlie's teeth, too. Can't bear to part with them. Our Tooth Fairy, by the way, once brought a wee giftie instead of cash and Miss M promptly wrote a thank you note--telling the Fairy how much she preferred that to cash.....

  24. My kids are all grown and I STILL have an assortment of their baby teeth in my jewellery box![Because I also jipped the tooth fairy....]However I didn't label very well so I'd have to call in CSI to determine which teeth belong to whom!


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