Monday, August 04, 2008

We Ain't Never Gonna Be Re-spec-ta-bul

My social life currently comprises attending fund-raising events and ... no that's it, that's all I do. This weekend was Cherub's Kinder's turn. It was an auction dinner, you know, where you go round scoring freebies from local traders AND donate as much as they can get out of you personally, then you turn up on the night to buy it all back. It was held at a fairly daggy reception centre with the worst chandelier ever and pretty 'orrible food. And of course being a function, we had no choice about the meal that landed in front of us. I got lasagne. Reception centre lasagne. Not what I wanted and not particularly nice, but the wine was free and we were served meals more than 2 hours later than I normally eat, so I shut up and ate up. And drank the free wine. Well, I say free. You had to pay $50 for drinks and dinner. Which is why I went with my friend Trish and Fixit stayed home with the kids.

The evening had an 80's theme and you could dress up if you wanted. Of course I wanted to. As did quite a few others. There was a very good Madonna, a chick in a hot-pink leotard and a high side ponytail, lots of floppy scarves tied on top of the head, someone wore a bright orange corporate shoulder-padded jacket, one of the blokes wore eye-liner. Good fun. And when the auction stuff was over there was lots of 80's music that enticed a surprising amount of people up to shake their booties.

Nell did my make-up, and did not forget to give me hideous 80's blusher. Fixit grimaced at me before I left and told me I had no chance of picking up. He said my arse looked too long in the high-waisted trousers. I said in the 80's everyone liked long arses, but he didn't look convinced.

I was aiming for Mel and Kim :

but as person after person came up to smile at me and comment on the great hat I realised I'd actually achieved Boy George:

Anyway, do you remember about all the free wine I drank to compensate for getting lasagne? Well, in true 80's flashback, when I got home I lay in bed with the room revolving around me and then realised I needed to drive the porcelain bus. As in throw up in the toilet. Then I felt much better and slept like a log. I wanted to do things the next morning so I got up and showered and washed the kilogram of gel out of my hair. But not long after that I was back in bed with a bucket and there I stayed all day, much to Fixit's annoyance (he has a test today and wanted to study not mind kids). Man, I was miserable. The sad thing is that in the 80s I knew I couldn't hold my liquor, and drank fairly sensibly. Even more sad is that I really only had between 4 and 5 glasses of wine the whole night, a 5 hour evening that included eating and dancing. Pathetic!

I feel old and pathetic today but at least I am no longer nauseous. And it just goes to show, you can't go back. The mind is willing but the flesh is a wimp.


  1. I've been on a serious '80s jag of late, and I approve.

    Hang tight until they return, because the look suits you.


  2. What on earth do you mean? Blusher is out? Just as well I haven't got the time to wear any then really.

    I quite fancy the idea of drinking 'free' wine at fund raisers and getting dressed up.

    Glad you had a Ball!

  3. It might have been the lasagna, not the wine!

  4. I'm sure it was the lasagna and not the wine.

    I was thinking Boy George before I got to your bit about achieving Boy George!! But a very pretty Boy George. Hang on. Boy George was a pretty Boy George. Hmmm... I'll just stop here.

  5. Yep, I was thinking you were chanelling Boy George all along.

    That all sounds horrific which gives me the heeby jeebies when I consider that our end of year function is a 70s/80s night...

  6. If there was one thing I learnt in the 80s it was to beware of free wine.

    It is almost certainly undrinkable.

  7. I didn't think Boy George at all. How unimaginative those people were! Very Mel and Kim, I reckon.

    Would it be strange if I went as Rick Astley...

    Now I can't get that damn song out of my head Never gonna give you up...

  8. Oh, I was hoping you were going to put on jazz shoes and leg warmers, shash a t-shirt, and go as flashdance girl!
    Just so you can drink wine again, pretend it was the cheap lasagna that did you in.

  9. Ahem... that's supposed to be "slash" a t-shirt, although sashes were popular back then too, which I suppose could be shash after too much wine.

  10. Yep Boy George for me too.

    One who is looking a bit uncertain about the blusher!

    Bloody lasagne.

  11. Yep, I thought Boy George, too. The 80's must have been kind to you, SG (pht! what were you? six?) cos I hate to say it, but that look really does things for you!

  12. This is making me very glad that our fundraiser auction night clashes with our weekend away. At least the weekend away is free (staying at friend's parent's house), I don't get out often enough to waste a night on crap wine!

    Can you rate the wine? Better or worse than 'opening night of student theatre production'?

  13. Tay, tay, tay, tay, t-t-t-tay-tay, tay, tay
    Take or leave us only please believe us....

    I used to have an ongoing joke with a guy and all we'd do is email each other "Tay, tay, tay, tay, t-t-t-tay-tay, tay, tay"

    Cracked you up and left you with a smile on your face all day.

    And this was only a few years ago.
    Mel n Kim - you rock !

    You do know their sad story though ? :(

    And I was going to sympathise on the drinking as i'm a bit the same .. but FIVE wines ... bwah ha ha ha haha ... :)

  14. Hee hee hee ... long arses were all the rage!!! Yuck to boozey headaches and spinning rooms. I never liked it then and I would HATE it now.
    Did you bid for/win anything exciting??

  15. I thought the wine was better than the student theatre varieties (I've drunk plenty of that stuff in my time), but clearly I have no idea. My green-grocer convinced me today that the crap wine was definitely to blame for my ills.

    And yes, Surfing Free I bid a whole 5 bucks to win me a photo frame. I got outbid on the bread-bin and the wine & chocolate pack. :-(

  16. I don't know what you were GOING for, but you GOT Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan.

    Also, if my memory serves me, this incredibly styly outfit was also worn by both Helen Hunt in "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and perhaps a variation by Molly Ringwald in can't remember, "Pretty in Pink" maybe? Although your hair may be throwing me false cues on the Molly Ringwald one.

    Thank you. Now please return to your regularly scheduled decade.

  17. heheh What happens to our minds in those moments that we think we can pull it off? But actually, you DID pull of boy george nicely.

  18. I confess I was thinking Boy George too... except no way did you have enough eye makeup on for that.

    I'm not sure I even own any hairspray now.... but boy did I go through sprays and gels in the 80s!

  19. I didn't think of Boy George, although in the 80s my dancing teacher had posters of him on the wall of her practice room, so perhaps it's not such a big leap. I was quite puzzled at the time, as I was about four and hadn't otherwise heard of him.

    I really wanted legwarmers back then, but don't think I ever expressed this wish to my mother, so didn't get them until the noughties.

  20. Oh, no, I'm so sorry you got sick! And you definitely didn't deserve it after only 4-5 wines.

    I went out with a group of school mothers recently, and one of the sweetest, quieter ones drank maybe 3-4 glasses of wine over 4 hours. Not being much of a drinker, she soon began slurring, being very funny and cute, and when we got up to leave, fell down between tables. Apparently she also woke at 3 am and managed to vomit all over the bathroom.

    What is my point here? Oh, yes, - sometimes these awful hangovers are just so unfair, when others drink the same and wake up fresh as a daisy!

  21. I am glad I wasn't there! I hate lasagne, & I would have drunk the wine, so I would have been sick too!
    You looked great!

  22. I saw an ad for JC Penny's the other day and it was all 80s, all the time, even down to using the library scene from The Breakfast Club. It was appalling, in a so-bad-I-have-to-look kind of way.

    You nailed the blush. And yes, long-arse trousers do seem to be making a comeback. *shudder*

  23. 1kg of gel plus throwing up after reception centre cheap wine. Yup, that sure says 1980s to me!

  24. That JCPenney advertisement that is a commercialized knockoff of The Breakfast Club realllllllly drives me mental.


  25. Perhaps the lasagne was from the 80s?

    (Still giggling at long arses).

  26. I would have spewed for sure - I am such a drinking light weight these days I can have half a glass of champagne and I will start dancing on tables!


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