Friday, June 08, 2007

Well so far this 40 thing has been okay...

... Probably because I'm still in Week Of Birthday mode, so nice things are still happening. Take for example this morning when a package arrived at our doorstep ...

I've got no idea who it's from. Samsara perfume (yum) was one of the items on my birthday Wists list so it must be from someone who was invited, but I thought (seeing as how I've pretty much done my thank-you cards) that most gifts were present (har har) and accounted for. A couple of people mentioned there was still something to arrive in the mail but they were people who could have just gone to a shop and bought the perfume - it's not rare or hard to find... Oh, and the other slightly weird thing was that it was addressed using Fixit's surname, not mine. So a little birthday mystery!

Anyway, we celebrated the actual day by having a family birthday dinner (with Nell of course) and I made the famous Buttermilk Spice Cake with easy Penuche Icing and the boys decorated it for me.

And tactfully, they only gave me 21 candles to blow out, but then Climber insisted on counting out 40 claps (plus a big one to grow).

As for that proposal that wasn't.

This is what I honestly feel about it.

I never actually wanted to GET married.

But. I do have this Inner Princess. She would quite like to dress up in a gorgeous frock and would probably enjoy flashing a beautiful sparkly rock on her hand. Her main problem however was that nobody had ever asked her to marry him. Which made her feel a bit insecure about her inability to inspire passion and romance in the hearts of men. She's a little bit pathetic, my Inner Princess.

Anyway, when Fixit made his non-proposal speech at my party, he said some beautiful and loving things to and about me. Which both allayed the IP's insecurites, and for all intents and purposes was as close to an actual wedding as I would ever require. I'd had my hair done, I was wearing a gorgeous frock, I was given a whole stack of great presents, and in the presence of my friends and family the man of my heart declared his love for me. I don't need more than that. And I'll always remember it.

On the downside, I still don't have a rock, I felt like vomiting when he was talking, I can't really quite remember what he actually said because like everyone else in the room I thought he WAS proposing which made me all fluttery and breathless and panicky, and worst of all I really didn't reciprocate his sentiments when it was my turn to speak. I think I just thanked him. Good on me.

Now that I've broken the 40-barrier I think I'll wear my never-been-proposed-to badge with perverse pride. Like an anti-IP rebel. In fact, maybe I should get Nell to physically make the badge!

And next year Fixit and I will celebrate our 15th anniversary. So I can probably start nagging for a rock any day now.


  1. Kids know that you have not truly had a birthday until candles have been blown out!

    A public confession of feelings is just as lovely as a wedding. Glad that 40 is being so kind to you.

  2. Great cake.

    And definitely start pushing for that rock. It's longer lasting than a poufy white frock.

  3. Your party looked so much better than a wedding...fabulous frock, great hair, public declaration of devotion, dancing, cake...with none of the angst that nuptials seem to induce! Now, you can start working on the rock...

    Happy birthday for yesterday. I'm not far behind you, so I'm watching and learning!

  4. Hmm at 40 claps and one to GROW on ( WTF ? - nice one, Cherub ;)

    I don't have a rock either - well, I kinda do wear a small diamond, but it's not from my husband as we couldn't afford one, and now i've been wearing it so long. It's a long story.

    I often admire other women's bling though ;)

    Cake looked goodly yummy.

  5. Oh - and -

    go the Eternity Ring. It's more fantastico, and means more, IMO.

    a rock for each kid, and you can throw in another couple of stones for you & the Fixit too if you like....

    I want one ;)

    P.S. Check you email.

  6. Honey, I know it is no big frock and rock, but there are a alot women who have been proposed to that do not have a man who says heartfelt things about them.
    I'm married, without a proposal, we had more of a mutual agreement thing.
    I like the idea of you as a tap dancin' no proposal rebel. I know you can't tap dance to reggae, but how about David Bowie's 'Rebel Rebel'? (with a big glittery rock of course)

  7. Well, if it's just proposals you want... come work where I am. I get marriage proposals all the time from customers. There's apparently something about women who know how to connect you to the internet, it would appear...

    I think the heartfelt declaration in public is much more meaningful - and so romantic!

  8. Yep, I'm with Caramaena, it seems that if you can do something technical that men can't, they want to marry you, but then they run for the hills when it occurs to them that you are smarter than they are.

    Stick with the honest, loving, loyal and steady.

    A wedding, or even a proposal, is just one day in a very long life. It's all the other days that matter more.

    Besides, do you really want some bitchy woman saying to you when you go to try on dresses for your big day "oh, so it's for you is it? I thought you were meeting your daughter here. I do so think mature-aged first-time brides are just charming" while looking you up and down with scorn.

    Yes, it happened to me!

  9. The whole white dress thing is completely over-rated. The whole Willing to Publicly Declare Love thing is completely ADORABLE. He's a Keeper, SG, with or without dress and bling.
    Pete and I have been married for 24 years and the wedding (while lovely) kind of fades in comparison to the many moments of true love. You're wise enough to see the difference.

  10. Im all for scoring jewellery for whatever reason - engagement,birthdays,declarations of love in all shapes and forms - no reason at all works best!(god how corny of me)

  11. oh baby, no-one ever wanted to marry me, and I've got two boys and I had a good man for 20 years. We always laughed the kids and the mortgage were more binding than anything else. and here I am, single, but bound. don't hang out for the rock. hang out for the love and laughter to keep going. happy birthday baby!!

  12. That inner princess thing can be a real pain in the neck -- mine threw a tantrum here back in Feb and I still shudder at the thought. Good for you for squelching her. Happy Birthday week! That cake looks yummy.

  13. Happy happy Birthday week!
    The longer it lasts the better!

  14. Goodness, I've been out of the blogging loop recently but have enjoyed a whole page of yours at once. Sounds like a great party. Happy belated birthday. 40? You're a child.

    I got Daughter 1's curls cut off when she was 2 or so and she had straight hair from then on... But lovely straight hair. Daughter 2's ringlets were made of sterner stuff, and persisted.

  15. Oh I totally agree about the proposal thing, I'm married too but I didn't get a proposal (at least not from the man I married!).
    Ooh, and great party!

  16. Sounds like Fixit has his head on right. Not afraid to tell the world he loves you. Two gorgeous children together. Right there are some pretty good ties that bind.

  17. Glad you had a spectacular birthday week...

    Perhaps an eternity ring...?

  18. Happy (belated) 40th! I'm glad to hear that turning 40 isn't so bad :)

  19. You ARE married, just not in the eyes of the law.

    And we all know the law is an ass.

    So, you're onto something there.

    - From the unmarried but attached person who had their whole wedding sorted out from the time they were eight including the bridal waltz (theme from The Godfather) and the bridesmaid dresses (burgundy) and who still gazes longingly into the bridal shop at the glorious wedding dresses and pathetically begs to go wedding dress shopping with other people


Don't let the cat get your tongue.