This, on top of the several in-depth discussions of the where do I come from? variety that I've had this last week with the Climber, in which I've had to admit that sex is nice* and explain -with diagrams- what sperm is (much to the hilarity and disbelief of my friends), means that I am looking for bricks to place gently and lovingly atop my offspring to STOP THEM GROWING UP SO FAST.Meanwhile, the ever-practical Mister Fixit scrubbed up one of our second-hand bikes, a bigger, red one adorned with T-Rexes and the word SPLAT. Still with the trainer wheels because the Cherub's not grown up that fast. Only to hear the Cherub whine why does my bike NEVER have a ding?
So to the bike shop they went to buy a ding for Cherub's bike. Here 'tis.
Only that ding did not go on Cherub's new splat t-rex bike. Oh no. The splat t-rex bike got a hoot.
This meant that Climber was later found hiding in his bunk-bed, crying his 7-year-old heart out because nobody loved him and he didn't get to have a horn on his bike. Another trip to the bike shop is scheduled for next weekend.It's possible we're just setting them up for some late-adolescent hooning up Lygon Street in a tricked-up car with a massive stereo in the boot and a stupid air-horn. But at age four-and-three-quarters, Cherub's cheerful little beepy-beep is making me smile.
*He asked me if it hurt. What else could I say?
oooh errrr. After a big in depth discussion about sex. Miss 5 responded with "wow Dad must have really really wanted a baby if he did that"
ReplyDeletequite !
Bicycle dings and hoots are so much easier.....
At least if they focus on bikes and dings it might be a coupla decades before they discover in person about the sex thing. I'm hopin'.
ReplyDeleteWow. That's a hoot-dinger, if you'll excuse the pun. You did done well, and yes .. err ... what could you say .. I can imagine his big baleful eyes full of care for his poor ... err.. prodded mother ...
ReplyDeleteNasty Daddy. Nasty.
My word verification is "mmmtm". That pretty much sums up what I would have said in response to the sex question.
ReplyDeleteMy first foray into sex education with 2 seven year old girls was to have to explain why the blow up animals (on display in front window the sex shop at the end of our street) had holes in their bottoms.
ReplyDeleteAs in Real Holes. And so it was that we started with a discussion about beastiality.
Talk about the Deep End.
I like to tell that one at parties, after a few drinks.
I think he was more concerned it was going to hurt him. Maybe I should have let him keep his illusions...
ReplyDeleteAnd Shula? You win.
Don't you just love these discussions?
ReplyDeleteWe had the discussion with the boys a while back.
The 7 year old decided there was "no way he was ever putting his bits in a girl's bits".
The 5 year old quickly chipped in "I am".
Shula so wins.
I think Stacey needs to keep an eye on her 5 year old.
ReplyDeleteOh.
ReplyDeleteMy.
God.
Shula.
ps. word verif just then was rewdds. Very rudes.
ReplyDelete8>)
ReplyDeleteLovely moments captured out of time. Good for you for being frank with your kids.
Errrr. Ummmm.
ReplyDeleteWell, you handled better than I would!
What else COULD you say!?
ReplyDeleteLallow is one of my favorite childhood words.
Shula, I'm blushing.
Love your posts. I don't think SG has even considered a ding or a hoot for his bike. He doesn't seem that interested in it really. Perhaps he will be like his father & keep a 'pet' useless rushing hulk under the carport, because, "one day it is going to be worth a fortune".
ReplyDeleteI have tried so hard to tell my kids all.the.facts but they just won't listen to me. I think the truth is they have learnt all about it at school and don't want to admit that they know.
ReplyDeleteEven when the stereo is blasting and the car is bobbing on its wheels, at least they'll both be loved...horns and all.
ReplyDeleteAs to sex, shit happens, right? And they need to know about that too.
When they want to knwo they ask - so you should tell. It is the adult thing to do. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI remember driving along with a 3yr old and a 7yr old in the backseat saying: "Mine's a penis, what's yours again? Is it an avagino?"
Made it difficult to eat avocado for a while...
PS a bicycle hoot is indeed a measure of parental love
I don't think NOS quite believed me when I explained this.
ReplyDelete-J.
Gosh I love the things your kids say..and ask!
ReplyDeleteAs for noisy things on bikes - you are a much nicer Mum than I am!!
I have been wishing for a brick for Margot as well - exactly what I have been thinking - she is too lovely at the moment!
ReplyDeleteYou did well with the sex talk. Very well.
I just need to recover from Shula's comment.
I was NOT expecting that.
P.S. Shula, I would have said "That's what they use in Veterinary School to practice." But then again, I have issues.
ReplyDeleteOh man. I wish I'd got here before Shula's comment. That one's going to stick with me a while.
ReplyDeleteYou have a ding and a hoot...we had a pooh. (It was a squishy Winnie the Pooh bike-hooter that made a strangled aaaarkkkkfttt noise when squeezed.
Look at that smile. Nothing like the right set of wheels!
ReplyDeleteLove the ding and the lallow.
ReplyDeleteCan I tell you the round one sex talks with the little kids are NOTHING compared to the round two
sex talks I have been having with my 14 year old girl lately. No wonder my hair is going grey!
Love your blog by the way.
I have a ding, but it is not so effective when people insist on walking along the bike path plugged into their headphones. Our local bike shop sells the kind of hoots that have big trumpets and squishy black bulbs, and I'm always tempted to buy one, but have to admit I would probably not use it. How nice to be of an age when one can honk happily without feeling self-conscious.
ReplyDeletePerhaps a honker would succeed in penetrating the earphones, though?