Friday, November 17, 2006

Burnt Bog Girl

Cartoon by Kaz Cooke
Her work has made me laugh many times in the last 20 years of my life.
(Good Lord has it really been that long?)

Burned the bloody dinner AGAIN last night. Well, the underneath of it anyway, ie the bit that got too hot at the bottom of the saucepan. When I say dinner, please note it was also the bulk batch of bolognese sauce for freezing. With which I'd taken some actual time and effort, using my Stephanie recipe and fresh herbs from the herb garden. Grrrr.

At an (apparently) critical moment I got called away to spend some quality one-on-one time with the Climber to help him build lego.

And when I came back there was a burnt, charred smell in the kitchen.

And yes, the whole batch has a distinctly smoky flavour now.

And the third thing Fixit said as he walked in the door (after Hello and What's for dinner?) was What have you been burning now?

And today apparently my new name is "Burnt Bog Girl"


So today I'm wondering why so many people actually enjoy cooking. All that work for what, 15 minutes pleasure? The way you HAVE to stay in one place to make sure you don't mess it up. No guarantee at the end of your slaving that the little fusspots you cater for will actually eat it. Likelihood of culinary efforts being met with an affronted look and a suspicious voice telling you they don't like it before they've even tried it. And going through the same grind almost every bloody night. Thank God for Take-Away Night. And my favourite, the very rare Eating Out At A Restaurant Night. (Take me out, someone, anyone...pleeeease!!)

signed (grumpily, refer cartoon above)



  1. My kitchen currently smells like burnt milk (nice) from my attempt at a frothy cappuccino this afternoon. Despite the candles, open windows and fans the nasty stinch lingers still. We're in that boat together.

  2. I confess, a lot of the time, the cooking of the dinner bores me to tears, the hardest part being deciding what.

    I can screw up seafood better than anyone I know. And I have given up deep-frying for life.

    But baking. Now that's a whole different thing. I like jam-making, too. I could do those two all day.

  3. Yeah, I love to bake too. Adore home-made jam as well, but too scared I'll ruin a perfectly good load of berries to try it. Plus there's all that jar sterilisation ... maybe when my kids are bigger.

  4. Have you been hanging around my house, getting pointers? I SO could have written this! Your Fixit and my OC are borrowing from each other's list of tactful things to say...

  5. I love cooking except three things - deepfrying, using the oven and chopping onions - they make my eyes so very sore.

    and right now am going through a phase of burning every single thing. seriously. i could burn water! and it is getting on my nerves.

  6. What about good old bangers and mash??? Most kids will eat a sausage ...When times are tough I bring out my friend maggi ( maggi-cook-in-the-pot)Nothing like a tonne of msg and preservatives to brighten up your day!

  7. Molly - if only there was "tact-school" for our menfolk..
    Velcro - I was the same during pregnancy, burnt everything in sight. Down to once a week these days, I suppose its an improvement.
    Jo- good suggestion except - bleah - sausages.

  8. I hate cooking for children. I love cooking for appreciative adults who arrive with bottles of wine.

  9. You know what, Stomper? I can cook like a demon, and love every minute of it, but there is no way on god's green earth i could ever even start to learn to tap dance. I got music but I ain't got rhythm!!

    I think it's a swings and roundabouts thing.

    You may need to remind Fixit of that...

  10. ...and (refer cartoon above) there is a theory that hormones affect cooking in all kinds of ways (think of book/film Like Water for Chocolate!)

  11. *sigh* The thing is though that I HAVE to cook almost every night. Whereas I'm guessing no-one insists you tap-dance for them on a regular basis?
    But thankyou for trying to make me feel better.

  12. I miss the resty-raunts :(

    I used to think I liked cooking ( note, always savoury, never sweet, no baking action ), but the older I get, the more I yearn for a personal shopper/chef.

    My own cooking bores me.

  13. Anyone--and this includes any offspring I have issued--attempting to interrupt me or distract me while I am cooking had better be prepared to fend off much flung cutlery.

    This is why I had the boys starting to help me cook as soon as they were 5ish. It keeps them busy, it keeps me from getting interrupted and it keeps my wife from being hauled off aboard The Disoriented Express.


    P.S. Envy her! We've been married 13 years and she still hasn't cooked her first meal. She baked (pretty good, too) cookies once, though.

  14. *crying* Thirteen YEARS!?!?

    You had me laughing at your flung cutlery, you could be a tv chef from the sounds of it!

  15. It's 3pm on a Sunday and I have NO IDEA what we're having for dinner. Probably something I'll pull out of the freezer. I do the make double quantities and freeze alot of the time, so there are at least 2 nights a week where I don't have to cook. I adore Friday night home-made pizzas. So easy and we always have ingredients for it, and lasagne, and spag bol, and bbqs. It's the side dishes I particularly hate: prepping veges, urgh.
    (Love Kaz Cooke - her book Up the Duff kept me sane during my pregnancies)


Don't let the cat get your tongue.